I am so blessed to be living in a truly magical place right now, nestled deep in the heart of the jungle perched up above the Pacific Ocean with a magnificient view of a land formation known here as “Coasta Baillena” or “The Whale’s Tail.” I’ve been coming to this magical place for 5 years now working with a good friend on a vision for a center for musicians, artists and conscious creatives to enjoy, learn, rejuvenate and practice the artistry of life in harmony with nature!
Part of what has continued to attract me and keep me interested in this place is the community that is growing and thriving here. There are people from all over the world coming here to work and live in a different way, a more sustainable, more “tranquillo,” more community oriented way that offers a much different quality of life than what modern mainstream society and culture seems to offer.
One of the things I’ve observed and resonated with in the people that I meet here is a deep appreciation for the simple pleasures of life: good food, good conversation, nature, and a real love and appreciation of sharing creativity, music and inspiration together as often as possible!!
Last night I went to visit my friend Andrew’s finca (farm) just down the road from Selva Armonia for a little pizza party he throws there every Friday night in the jungle. Interestingly enough, Andrew and I met almost 10 years ago in North Carolina in the African Drum and Dance community in Asheville. When I first came here, 5 years ago, I thought it was pretty groovy and synchronic that Andrew lived on the same road that Selva Armonia was on! I took it as a very good sign to already have at least one drumming buddy here!
The pizza party happens all around the tiny little fire fueled clay oven with just a few benches and a grassy hill to lounge on, and with about 20 people showing up for a nite of sharing in the jungle, roots style, there was a good amount of energy and love to bask in!
For me, there is just something so incredibly magical about playing in the dark of night, nestled deep in nature, far away from city sounds or distractions. It allows the real me to surface effortlessly, especially once a drum comes within my little wild hands, and even more so when a few other experienced solid players emerge to groove with me! Being immersed in nature and playing music allows us to become deeply connected to the earth’s energy in a very powerful way. Tribal people of course have known this forever. For me, the experience is always a direct portal to blissful union with God, self and others. When that pocket of connectivity really anchors itself thru all of the players present, it seems that nature responds and unites with us, and thru us and the wisdom of harmony is transmitted through the ethers, resonating thru the stars!
There were moments last night when I could feel the insects pulsating in sync with our playing, the nite birds chiming in on the spaces that were there between beats, and all of nature totally in the groove with us. The only light was a few candles they were cooking pizza by and the clay oven’s flame behind us. The stars above were brilliantly dancing and fully be-dazzling me with their star songs. The moments of transcendance from linear time and space that music seems to create, granted me refuge, sanctuary and freedom from all of the monkey business of the mind and it’s stories!
Bliss is pretty much a given for me in moments like these where good people are together in nature sharing in the simple pleasures of life, opening our hearts to each other, the cosmos and our own divine reflections of grace and wisdom. So grateful for the opportunity to share in the Jungle Muse!
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Oneness Gathering: Costa Rica
The Oneness Gathering/Bioregional Council was held on Sat Mar 19, 1-4pm, Hotel Angelus, Perez Zeledon. I was invited to attend to host a Full Moon Muse Drum Celebration with the community and also was there to represent and share about what we are up to at Selva Armonia, in Uvita. Beyond all of that, though, I was curious and excited to meet the larger community here in Costa Rica of activated like minded people who are living in a different way for so many valid and good reasons! It has been such a blessing to come down here and see what's going on, but I've been so busy working most years here, that I haven't had a chance to get into the larger community to meet others and explore other projects. I was excited to have this opportunity to connect and get a bigger picture of the who's, what's, how's and why's going on in SW Costa Rica Pura Vidaville!
And being an event organizer also, I was impressed that they were expecting 50 people for the event as I know how hard it can be to get people to show up to even the most amazing of events!
So, my first piece is Gratitude: "Thank you and Great work" I say to the organizers of the Oneness Gathering! The bringing together of brilliant minds, elders and youth, open hearts and a willingness to unify with a strong foundation and clear intention can only hold goodness and unlimited possibilities for more goodness! The last count I did just before sunset had the group at about 45 people, and I think a few more showed up during the drumming and Full Moon Muse I hosted after the presentations were over!
It was inspiring and affirming to see the strength that has gathered and anchored in this area of Costa Rica to work on sustainable living practices, personal growth and living in harmony with a higher calling. Solid, mature, connected hearts and committed minds from all over the world shared their projects in the circle, resourcing and sharing their gifts together in a circle. There were a few Tico's present, and my hope is that there are more coming to share with us their experience and knowledge as I feel strongly that the integration of those who have lived and grown here for centuries with the new comers is a vital piece that absolutely must happen in order for total harmony and sustainability to thrive.
The Full Moon drum celebration was super high energy and really a sweet way to cap of the day of presentations and discussions. The following morning, those who stuck around for the night shared in a beautiful heart opening cacao ceremony together, sharing in the truth of our radiant and tender hearts! The photo here is that group post cacao, and the bliss and love were sent out to the whole world through the jewels of our expanded heart lotus blossoms!
I feel blessed to have been invited to participate and to have been there representing Selva Armonia and I look forward to the next event and the unfolding of the love and magic and sustainable efforts that is definitely in full swing here in SW Costa Rica. Thanks to all who attended and participated and shared! It was such a joy and a blessing to see so much amazing reflection and empowered essence of humanity in one place!
Here is the description the organizers posted on the event:
The circle process will welcome and bless the joined intention of individuals, fincas, communities and groups as we move into “new earth consciousness.” We will share a “seed/seedling exchange,” as a way of introducing ourselves and clarifying our purpose as stewards of our amazing bioregional habitat. As we step together into an ever-accelerating time of transformation, we put our commitment to Oneness ahead of any personal or political differences.
The circle will be facilitated by a leadership team that includes Chema, designer and developer of Casa Tordesillas, Desiree Wells, facilitator of permaculture and earth building at Finca Fruicion, Louis Bourgeois, Founder of the OASIS Center for Conscious Living, and Don McDougal, ambassador for the ManKind Project in Central America.
Practical questions that will be addressed include: who are we? What are we looking to accomplish as communities, fincas, and groups? How can we support each other as spiritual family? (ie seed exchange, tool sharing, etc.) How can we as a bioregion function as a cohesive network? (collaboration vs. competition)
For more info, contact Louis Bourgeouis on Facebook!
And being an event organizer also, I was impressed that they were expecting 50 people for the event as I know how hard it can be to get people to show up to even the most amazing of events!
So, my first piece is Gratitude: "Thank you and Great work" I say to the organizers of the Oneness Gathering! The bringing together of brilliant minds, elders and youth, open hearts and a willingness to unify with a strong foundation and clear intention can only hold goodness and unlimited possibilities for more goodness! The last count I did just before sunset had the group at about 45 people, and I think a few more showed up during the drumming and Full Moon Muse I hosted after the presentations were over!
It was inspiring and affirming to see the strength that has gathered and anchored in this area of Costa Rica to work on sustainable living practices, personal growth and living in harmony with a higher calling. Solid, mature, connected hearts and committed minds from all over the world shared their projects in the circle, resourcing and sharing their gifts together in a circle. There were a few Tico's present, and my hope is that there are more coming to share with us their experience and knowledge as I feel strongly that the integration of those who have lived and grown here for centuries with the new comers is a vital piece that absolutely must happen in order for total harmony and sustainability to thrive.
The Full Moon drum celebration was super high energy and really a sweet way to cap of the day of presentations and discussions. The following morning, those who stuck around for the night shared in a beautiful heart opening cacao ceremony together, sharing in the truth of our radiant and tender hearts! The photo here is that group post cacao, and the bliss and love were sent out to the whole world through the jewels of our expanded heart lotus blossoms!
I feel blessed to have been invited to participate and to have been there representing Selva Armonia and I look forward to the next event and the unfolding of the love and magic and sustainable efforts that is definitely in full swing here in SW Costa Rica. Thanks to all who attended and participated and shared! It was such a joy and a blessing to see so much amazing reflection and empowered essence of humanity in one place!
Here is the description the organizers posted on the event:
The circle process will welcome and bless the joined intention of individuals, fincas, communities and groups as we move into “new earth consciousness.” We will share a “seed/seedling exchange,” as a way of introducing ourselves and clarifying our purpose as stewards of our amazing bioregional habitat. As we step together into an ever-accelerating time of transformation, we put our commitment to Oneness ahead of any personal or political differences.
The circle will be facilitated by a leadership team that includes Chema, designer and developer of Casa Tordesillas, Desiree Wells, facilitator of permaculture and earth building at Finca Fruicion, Louis Bourgeois, Founder of the OASIS Center for Conscious Living, and Don McDougal, ambassador for the ManKind Project in Central America.
Practical questions that will be addressed include: who are we? What are we looking to accomplish as communities, fincas, and groups? How can we support each other as spiritual family? (ie seed exchange, tool sharing, etc.) How can we as a bioregion function as a cohesive network? (collaboration vs. competition)
For more info, contact Louis Bourgeouis on Facebook!
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Bird Song Bliss
The soft billowy mists are rising out of the lush green valley in front of me as toucans, parrots and an orchestra of bird and insect songs awaken me again in the remembrance of the joy of life that nature is always expressing.
How can I not awaken in joy hearing this most beautiful jungle song?
The jungle is such a sweet reminder of how life loves to express itself, and the magic of each new day bringing yet another opportunity to invite life to move and live itself through me. Each place I visit and sleep holds it’s own unique sonic vibration, and I feel like I am learning peace and experiencing bliss in more profoundly unique ways in each one of these magical places. Last nite, there were night sounds I hadn’t heard yet, and I floated into such a deep dreamstate on a sonic carpet that pulsated through me, calming every cell of me before taking me effortlessly into the dreamtime. It is possibly my favorite thing about living in Costa Rica: being so close to and surrounded by jungle. As a musical and expressive being, the expression here is so comforting and so mystically entrancing, I simply can’t get enough. I open my whole being to the vibrations here, allowing them to massage every piece of me, mind, body and spirit and the sensuality it awakens in me goes beyond my ability to express in any cognitive way.
The more time I am in the heart of nature, the less appealing modern culture becomes. The birdsongs alone here in the mornings have captured a piece of my soul that nothing in modern culture, no eye candy or ear candy, can ever come close to enticing or stirring in me. Sitting here now, I am watching myriads of them show up, brightly splashed in brilliant colors, two here with a wave of blue perfectly painted on it’s wings and a yellow head are climbing up the thatch roof and just landing now in front of me now with a whirlwind of blue, two magical little tweeters that look like they’ve been dipped in the dawn’s softest blue hue.
How can I not be totally impressed by the artist who has created this diversity and beauty? Their songs fill the air, my heart is busted open in love and gratitude that I get to experience this bliss, this truth of simple beingness that is available for those of us who have the courage to explore and seek out the reality that goes far beyond the maya that modern culture is trying to brainwash us with.
I’m in love and nature has brought me home again, as she always does, to the truth of who I am. In her embrace, I soften and crack open. I find stillness is easy and my mind rests. Joy is natural and spontaneous just in the listening. Then opening the eyes to feast on the curvaceousness of the rolling green hills and soft emerald green of the forest is a feast of delite! In her magical playground I find true solace, comfort and the remembrance of the joy that life holds intrinsically when we just live connected to the experience of life and let life move thru us. She grants me space to feel nurtured in the midst of these times when it seems much of the “human creation” is showing up to be, for me, a game I am not so interested in indulging in anymore.
She welcomes me home over and over with open loving arms and moments of magical mystical bliss. I pray and she responds in a flower or a bird or a song. I open and she fills me fully with the truth!
How can I not awaken in joy hearing this most beautiful jungle song?
The jungle is such a sweet reminder of how life loves to express itself, and the magic of each new day bringing yet another opportunity to invite life to move and live itself through me. Each place I visit and sleep holds it’s own unique sonic vibration, and I feel like I am learning peace and experiencing bliss in more profoundly unique ways in each one of these magical places. Last nite, there were night sounds I hadn’t heard yet, and I floated into such a deep dreamstate on a sonic carpet that pulsated through me, calming every cell of me before taking me effortlessly into the dreamtime. It is possibly my favorite thing about living in Costa Rica: being so close to and surrounded by jungle. As a musical and expressive being, the expression here is so comforting and so mystically entrancing, I simply can’t get enough. I open my whole being to the vibrations here, allowing them to massage every piece of me, mind, body and spirit and the sensuality it awakens in me goes beyond my ability to express in any cognitive way.
The more time I am in the heart of nature, the less appealing modern culture becomes. The birdsongs alone here in the mornings have captured a piece of my soul that nothing in modern culture, no eye candy or ear candy, can ever come close to enticing or stirring in me. Sitting here now, I am watching myriads of them show up, brightly splashed in brilliant colors, two here with a wave of blue perfectly painted on it’s wings and a yellow head are climbing up the thatch roof and just landing now in front of me now with a whirlwind of blue, two magical little tweeters that look like they’ve been dipped in the dawn’s softest blue hue.
How can I not be totally impressed by the artist who has created this diversity and beauty? Their songs fill the air, my heart is busted open in love and gratitude that I get to experience this bliss, this truth of simple beingness that is available for those of us who have the courage to explore and seek out the reality that goes far beyond the maya that modern culture is trying to brainwash us with.
I’m in love and nature has brought me home again, as she always does, to the truth of who I am. In her embrace, I soften and crack open. I find stillness is easy and my mind rests. Joy is natural and spontaneous just in the listening. Then opening the eyes to feast on the curvaceousness of the rolling green hills and soft emerald green of the forest is a feast of delite! In her magical playground I find true solace, comfort and the remembrance of the joy that life holds intrinsically when we just live connected to the experience of life and let life move thru us. She grants me space to feel nurtured in the midst of these times when it seems much of the “human creation” is showing up to be, for me, a game I am not so interested in indulging in anymore.
She welcomes me home over and over with open loving arms and moments of magical mystical bliss. I pray and she responds in a flower or a bird or a song. I open and she fills me fully with the truth!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Volcan Baru
SUNSET:
My legs are still a bit stiff and my heart and mind still full of magic and love after a journey to Volcan Baru in Panama with a new friend from the Envision Festival weekend in Uvita, Costa Rica. The journey to Panama from Costa Rica took us thru the Osa Peninsula on a bit of side trip to hike around Drakes Bay for a few days before crosing the border into Panama. Having been to Drake's Bay 2 years ago, I was happy to bring friends there and share one of my favorite places in Costa Rica. Two years ago, this is where we did the Dolphin Drumming trip with Wild Dolphin Journey's (Marta MacBeth), so it was really a sweet treat for me to revisit the area and love it up again!
We did a mellow and magical day hike there with pristine beach after pristine beach and rocky craggy palm studded shores greeting us on every turn. We saw lots of white faced monkeys dangling about the treetops, mischeviously spying down on us as we gazed up at them: I couldn't help but think "monkey watching monkey!" From Drakes Bay we journeyed to Puerto Jimenez, crossed the Golfo Dulce to Golfito and bussed to the border, then straight on to David, Panama. From David, we headed to Boquete, which surprised me in how charming and quaint it was. The little central square was all lit up with Christmas lites, and there was this very gentle vibe there that was welcoming and endearing in a way I somehow hadn't expected. We found a hostel that rented camping gear, run by a Colorado smoosher, had a little rest and got up to hit the trail for the Volcano the next morning.
We were warned that it was an "intense" hike, even for Coloradan's, by a Colorado native, and indeed it was. I have done some pretty intense hikes, 14'ers, and the likes, and can say honestly that this hike was up there with one of the more challenging hikes I've done. Definitly not THE most challenging but it ranks probably in the top 10, ,mostly because of the length of the hike in one day being 15 km (and about 14 of it a fairly steep vertical incline), and the vert of the whole thing from start to finish being pretty steep.
The bus dropped us off 2 km before the entrance to the park and just that first 2 km was a pretty good indication that we were in for some serious uphill climbing. The road part was sweet though, and took us past native Panamanian homes with women and children in brightly colored traditional garb and men playing soccer in the fields. The hike itself was nothing so great, definitly pretty terrain, rolling hills, oaks and towards the top more thick forest, but not a lot of vistas and the only wildlife we saw were lots of little sweet song birds.
The last few kms to the campsite were more or less brutal and had me in a deep state of mind over matter, my mantra became: "I am not my body." The campsite was about another 1 km from the summit and when we got there, the mists were heavy and thick, it was cold and I was not feeling like I was going to peak the summit, my feet were blistering, and my knee was tweaking and I told my hiking partner to head without me. I didn't think he'd see much anyway with the heavy mists falling. Of course my curiosity and adventurous spirit kicked in when the sun peaked out of the mists again and I trekked behind him weary but strong willed!
We peaked the summit just about at sunset. The cloud formations and sinking mists were gloriously mesmerizing and so enchanting it was hard to really want to do anything but bask in the beauty of it and rest in the moment. We sat quietly in awe of the everchanging scene in front of us, weary and I was filled with deep gratitude and grace. Such a gorgeous shifting vista as the clouds lifted and dropped into the lush green valleys beneath us.
Apparently, many people hike up over nite, see the sunrise, then book it down. I just can't see the point in that to be honest, though I guess if people don't like to camp and want to see it, they've got to do it. After such a gruelling hike, to just turn right around and go down would feel to me like torture. Not that I wasn't tortured in my own way: I laid awake all nite freezing in a thin cotton sleeping bag at almost 12000 feet (it wasn't freezing but probably not much above it), tossing and turning on rock hard ground too overworked to fall asleep! But atleast not having to turn right around was some form of rest and comfort for my body. And sunrise the next day was well worth losing a night of sleep!
SUNRISE:
At dawn we could see both oceans, the Pacific and Atlantic, and a beautiful cover of clouds hovering above the earth. I offered prayers to the earth, cuddled in all the clothes I could find with cold wind blasting thru me, and strong warm arms of my friend reminding me of how much love there is in this world when we are ready to receive and give in return.
Such a delightful way to start a day with a birds eye view of the world and the love of all life pulsing thru me!
Glorious experience, if you ever get to Panama, I highly recommend doing the hike! Take your time and catch both a sunset and sunrise: it's really worth it and the views are so different depending on the cloud cover and time of day you catch it
My legs are still a bit stiff and my heart and mind still full of magic and love after a journey to Volcan Baru in Panama with a new friend from the Envision Festival weekend in Uvita, Costa Rica. The journey to Panama from Costa Rica took us thru the Osa Peninsula on a bit of side trip to hike around Drakes Bay for a few days before crosing the border into Panama. Having been to Drake's Bay 2 years ago, I was happy to bring friends there and share one of my favorite places in Costa Rica. Two years ago, this is where we did the Dolphin Drumming trip with Wild Dolphin Journey's (Marta MacBeth), so it was really a sweet treat for me to revisit the area and love it up again!
We did a mellow and magical day hike there with pristine beach after pristine beach and rocky craggy palm studded shores greeting us on every turn. We saw lots of white faced monkeys dangling about the treetops, mischeviously spying down on us as we gazed up at them: I couldn't help but think "monkey watching monkey!" From Drakes Bay we journeyed to Puerto Jimenez, crossed the Golfo Dulce to Golfito and bussed to the border, then straight on to David, Panama. From David, we headed to Boquete, which surprised me in how charming and quaint it was. The little central square was all lit up with Christmas lites, and there was this very gentle vibe there that was welcoming and endearing in a way I somehow hadn't expected. We found a hostel that rented camping gear, run by a Colorado smoosher, had a little rest and got up to hit the trail for the Volcano the next morning.
We were warned that it was an "intense" hike, even for Coloradan's, by a Colorado native, and indeed it was. I have done some pretty intense hikes, 14'ers, and the likes, and can say honestly that this hike was up there with one of the more challenging hikes I've done. Definitly not THE most challenging but it ranks probably in the top 10, ,mostly because of the length of the hike in one day being 15 km (and about 14 of it a fairly steep vertical incline), and the vert of the whole thing from start to finish being pretty steep.
The bus dropped us off 2 km before the entrance to the park and just that first 2 km was a pretty good indication that we were in for some serious uphill climbing. The road part was sweet though, and took us past native Panamanian homes with women and children in brightly colored traditional garb and men playing soccer in the fields. The hike itself was nothing so great, definitly pretty terrain, rolling hills, oaks and towards the top more thick forest, but not a lot of vistas and the only wildlife we saw were lots of little sweet song birds.
The last few kms to the campsite were more or less brutal and had me in a deep state of mind over matter, my mantra became: "I am not my body." The campsite was about another 1 km from the summit and when we got there, the mists were heavy and thick, it was cold and I was not feeling like I was going to peak the summit, my feet were blistering, and my knee was tweaking and I told my hiking partner to head without me. I didn't think he'd see much anyway with the heavy mists falling. Of course my curiosity and adventurous spirit kicked in when the sun peaked out of the mists again and I trekked behind him weary but strong willed!
We peaked the summit just about at sunset. The cloud formations and sinking mists were gloriously mesmerizing and so enchanting it was hard to really want to do anything but bask in the beauty of it and rest in the moment. We sat quietly in awe of the everchanging scene in front of us, weary and I was filled with deep gratitude and grace. Such a gorgeous shifting vista as the clouds lifted and dropped into the lush green valleys beneath us.
Apparently, many people hike up over nite, see the sunrise, then book it down. I just can't see the point in that to be honest, though I guess if people don't like to camp and want to see it, they've got to do it. After such a gruelling hike, to just turn right around and go down would feel to me like torture. Not that I wasn't tortured in my own way: I laid awake all nite freezing in a thin cotton sleeping bag at almost 12000 feet (it wasn't freezing but probably not much above it), tossing and turning on rock hard ground too overworked to fall asleep! But atleast not having to turn right around was some form of rest and comfort for my body. And sunrise the next day was well worth losing a night of sleep!
SUNRISE:
At dawn we could see both oceans, the Pacific and Atlantic, and a beautiful cover of clouds hovering above the earth. I offered prayers to the earth, cuddled in all the clothes I could find with cold wind blasting thru me, and strong warm arms of my friend reminding me of how much love there is in this world when we are ready to receive and give in return.
Such a delightful way to start a day with a birds eye view of the world and the love of all life pulsing thru me!
Glorious experience, if you ever get to Panama, I highly recommend doing the hike! Take your time and catch both a sunset and sunrise: it's really worth it and the views are so different depending on the cloud cover and time of day you catch it
Friday, February 25, 2011
Reminders on Being
Found this list in my journal from my Birthday this year! Thought they were worth sharing! Enjoy!
Accept what is with gratitude and faith
Embrace Life
Find and do what you love
Trust more Deeply
Resist self criticism and self judgement
Think less, Be More
Learn to let go ON COMMAND
Practice discernment in speech and thought
Become the master of your mind and emotions
Don't re-act: Sit, reflect, breathe and respond with discernment and grace
Live in the present: Let go of the past: It lives ONLY as long as you feed it
Liberate your mind by letting go of stories and perceptions
Trust in the flow to bring what needs to be
Don't interfere with what is: Allow truth to reveal itself: IT ALWAYS DOES
Forgive yourself as you forgive others
Accept that somethings can never be understood: especially other people's actions
Find your SELF & Never let her go again!
Never let anyone else confuse you on your own values and needs
Never compromise your values
Remember you deserve integrity and honesty
Choose carefully, consciously and with great discernment who and what you take into your body, life and community
Awaken to the joys of your wild side: drum, dance, sing, be in nature, play pointlessly
Live courageously: take more chancs: jump into the unknown with passion and zest for the mystery it holds
Live fearlessly as if today is the last day of your life!
Accept what is with gratitude and faith
Embrace Life
Find and do what you love
Trust more Deeply
Resist self criticism and self judgement
Think less, Be More
Learn to let go ON COMMAND
Practice discernment in speech and thought
Become the master of your mind and emotions
Don't re-act: Sit, reflect, breathe and respond with discernment and grace
Live in the present: Let go of the past: It lives ONLY as long as you feed it
Liberate your mind by letting go of stories and perceptions
Trust in the flow to bring what needs to be
Don't interfere with what is: Allow truth to reveal itself: IT ALWAYS DOES
Forgive yourself as you forgive others
Accept that somethings can never be understood: especially other people's actions
Find your SELF & Never let her go again!
Never let anyone else confuse you on your own values and needs
Never compromise your values
Remember you deserve integrity and honesty
Choose carefully, consciously and with great discernment who and what you take into your body, life and community
Awaken to the joys of your wild side: drum, dance, sing, be in nature, play pointlessly
Live courageously: take more chancs: jump into the unknown with passion and zest for the mystery it holds
Live fearlessly as if today is the last day of your life!
Reflection on a Year of Change
For some reason, February is always my real new year. It's always the time when things start to really feel fresh and alive again within me. January is more of a stewing time, ideas and intuitions are churning but usually January is a time of such maintenance level work that the newness doesn't really get birthed until February. I am finding myself again in Costa Rica this year reflecting now on what has proven to be one of the most challenging years of my adult life.
It was February when I made the choice to exit my relationship of 7.5 years, and now, a year later, I am finally feeling inspiration return, and in new ways that I am happy to allow space for and cultivate. It has been a year of deep introspection and a lot of turmoil and chaos. Some of the most intense pain I've ever experienced inwardly has softened me, not hardened me, and for that I am so grateful. I feel like I can speak and be in a place of wisdom and truth when I share with others what heartbreak and mental turmoil are like because I really allowed myself to sit in and with it all. I accepted it all and bore witness to the reality of what was, and it wasn't so easy!
Now, a year later, I feel more ready to move forward resting in the knowingness that I did not run away or hide from any of it. I moved with authenticity and respected my heart even when I knew doing so would open me to being hurt more. I learned the power of vulnerability and the grace that comes from grief and loss. I challenged myself to keep opening my heart and showing up in the truth of what I felt, not to run away, not to shut down, not to cut and sever, but to integrate the experiences of grief, loss, heartbreak, betrayal, deception, disappointment and all the myriads of emotions that came with it all from insecurity to depression. Now, I am at peace with it all, with what and who hurt me, and with myself for giving myself permission to be real with myself every step of the way, even when it wasn't pretty or "cool." I won't say I'm proud of every moment of it, but it is clear now that I learned from it all and that the lessons I learned are invaluable ones we all must learn if we are to grow up and mature into our higher, wiser selves. It couldn't have been any other way for me to really get what I needed to get!
Last year, thru recurrent dreams I was having of wild cats and domesticated wild cats while I was in Costa Rica, I birthed a vision of working with women to help other women reclaim their own power and primal essence. The dreams were so powerfully clear that my soul was calling for a break from domesticity, and a way back to the true untamable free essence that is my nature. In one dream, I birthed a litter of cats that were sort of alien felines, and went to pick one up and it clawed at me and attacked me. I had to kill it, then run and lock the door to escape the others as they all turned wild on me, the one who had birthed them. In another dream, the land I was working on allowed poachers to come and kill a big beautiful tiger for money to survive, a representation of selling my soul and passion for "security and money." In another a panther was on a leash like a dog, beaten and subdued, looking pathetically dis-empowered. It was dream after dream like this, screaming at me to look deeply at what I was trading for the illusion of security and comfort. I knew my life had to change and it was these dreams more than anything that pushed me towards change.
Out of this, awareness came to me that I had much work to do to reconnect myself to myself and to the Wild Feminine Essence that the Feline energy was so clearly representing for me in the dreamtime. Being who I am, I love to share the journey and learn with and from others, and so the vision that began to germinate was to bring forth opportunities for other women to take the journey with me and see what we find and how we can support and nurture each other thru this experience. Being in nature was (is) so powerful for me every day to reflect and watch and listen to what the ultimate "wild woman," Mother Nature, had to share with me. Reconnecting deeply to nature, her cycles and vibrations was one of the most healing elements of my journey, and remains so.
That desire, to share and support other women on their journey back to self, brought me into journaling my process in a blog (that I have yet to release), as I know that someday, some woman may read my story and find solace and support in their challenges. If my journey home can help one other being to find themselves home within, I have done a great service and can leave the planet knowing I made some kind of difference.
As I sit here now, with the waves crashing on the shore down below me, and the cicadas chirping it up, I am reflecting on all the pieces that have fallen into place perfectly to bring me here now to this place of feeling re-inspired and reconnected in a new way to my purpose and passions. It was just a few days ago that I completed, with two other awesome facilitators (Sofiah Thom and Una Paradox), and 10 participants, a 5 day long retreat entitled, "Awaken the Wild Woman Within." The retreat was wildly successful overall and in it's afterbliss, I am having some much needed down time to reflect on my year and my own passage back to self.
Truly it has been an epic year and when I look at the goodness of what all the pain has brought forth in maturity, wisdom and depth, it's hard to be anything but grateful for the journey.
My life is moving forward, and the love of my life is becoming once again my self. Tonite I sit here with a glass of wine celebrating the arrival of this moment, to be able to feel strong, OK, safe, powerfully vulnerable, competent and capable of overcoming my own demons and fears.
I am in love with life, totally in bliss in this beautiful place overlooking the ocean and nestled into the jungle and my heart is bursting with the desire to share and serve in any ways I can!
Blessed nite! A celebration of the spirit!
It was February when I made the choice to exit my relationship of 7.5 years, and now, a year later, I am finally feeling inspiration return, and in new ways that I am happy to allow space for and cultivate. It has been a year of deep introspection and a lot of turmoil and chaos. Some of the most intense pain I've ever experienced inwardly has softened me, not hardened me, and for that I am so grateful. I feel like I can speak and be in a place of wisdom and truth when I share with others what heartbreak and mental turmoil are like because I really allowed myself to sit in and with it all. I accepted it all and bore witness to the reality of what was, and it wasn't so easy!
Now, a year later, I feel more ready to move forward resting in the knowingness that I did not run away or hide from any of it. I moved with authenticity and respected my heart even when I knew doing so would open me to being hurt more. I learned the power of vulnerability and the grace that comes from grief and loss. I challenged myself to keep opening my heart and showing up in the truth of what I felt, not to run away, not to shut down, not to cut and sever, but to integrate the experiences of grief, loss, heartbreak, betrayal, deception, disappointment and all the myriads of emotions that came with it all from insecurity to depression. Now, I am at peace with it all, with what and who hurt me, and with myself for giving myself permission to be real with myself every step of the way, even when it wasn't pretty or "cool." I won't say I'm proud of every moment of it, but it is clear now that I learned from it all and that the lessons I learned are invaluable ones we all must learn if we are to grow up and mature into our higher, wiser selves. It couldn't have been any other way for me to really get what I needed to get!
Last year, thru recurrent dreams I was having of wild cats and domesticated wild cats while I was in Costa Rica, I birthed a vision of working with women to help other women reclaim their own power and primal essence. The dreams were so powerfully clear that my soul was calling for a break from domesticity, and a way back to the true untamable free essence that is my nature. In one dream, I birthed a litter of cats that were sort of alien felines, and went to pick one up and it clawed at me and attacked me. I had to kill it, then run and lock the door to escape the others as they all turned wild on me, the one who had birthed them. In another dream, the land I was working on allowed poachers to come and kill a big beautiful tiger for money to survive, a representation of selling my soul and passion for "security and money." In another a panther was on a leash like a dog, beaten and subdued, looking pathetically dis-empowered. It was dream after dream like this, screaming at me to look deeply at what I was trading for the illusion of security and comfort. I knew my life had to change and it was these dreams more than anything that pushed me towards change.
Out of this, awareness came to me that I had much work to do to reconnect myself to myself and to the Wild Feminine Essence that the Feline energy was so clearly representing for me in the dreamtime. Being who I am, I love to share the journey and learn with and from others, and so the vision that began to germinate was to bring forth opportunities for other women to take the journey with me and see what we find and how we can support and nurture each other thru this experience. Being in nature was (is) so powerful for me every day to reflect and watch and listen to what the ultimate "wild woman," Mother Nature, had to share with me. Reconnecting deeply to nature, her cycles and vibrations was one of the most healing elements of my journey, and remains so.
That desire, to share and support other women on their journey back to self, brought me into journaling my process in a blog (that I have yet to release), as I know that someday, some woman may read my story and find solace and support in their challenges. If my journey home can help one other being to find themselves home within, I have done a great service and can leave the planet knowing I made some kind of difference.
As I sit here now, with the waves crashing on the shore down below me, and the cicadas chirping it up, I am reflecting on all the pieces that have fallen into place perfectly to bring me here now to this place of feeling re-inspired and reconnected in a new way to my purpose and passions. It was just a few days ago that I completed, with two other awesome facilitators (Sofiah Thom and Una Paradox), and 10 participants, a 5 day long retreat entitled, "Awaken the Wild Woman Within." The retreat was wildly successful overall and in it's afterbliss, I am having some much needed down time to reflect on my year and my own passage back to self.
Truly it has been an epic year and when I look at the goodness of what all the pain has brought forth in maturity, wisdom and depth, it's hard to be anything but grateful for the journey.
My life is moving forward, and the love of my life is becoming once again my self. Tonite I sit here with a glass of wine celebrating the arrival of this moment, to be able to feel strong, OK, safe, powerfully vulnerable, competent and capable of overcoming my own demons and fears.
I am in love with life, totally in bliss in this beautiful place overlooking the ocean and nestled into the jungle and my heart is bursting with the desire to share and serve in any ways I can!
Blessed nite! A celebration of the spirit!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Creating a Practice You'll Love
Please bookmark the new Blog site for more specific Recreational Music Making Sharings!
I just finished a week long retreat working with 12 other women in Costa Rica in which every day we danced, played music, practiced Hatha Yoga and shared our stories. One of the workshops I offered was called "Creating a Practice you'll Love." This is such a vital piece for an individual to continue growing and evoloving in whatever their art form is, and for the retreat we did, it felt to me so integral as a way to support the women in taking the practices we shared home and keeping momentum in their daily lives.
Practice is how we become. It can have many forms, and my definition of it is really more about connecting with source and self and allowing some time for that connection to deepen and mature over time. It is valuable and so vital to maintaining our passion and purpose in our lives.
Creating a practice you love requires a few simple external pieces:
Internally, creating a practice you love requires a little bit more! If you already have a strong practice, ask yourself how much joy you are really getting out of it. I don't mean just satisfaction that you did your practice, I mean joy and inspiration! Do you leave your practice feeling excited and hungry for the next one? Are you practicing your passion or what you think you should be practicing?
If you fiind yourself stuck or stagnating in your practice, try these tips:
I just finished a week long retreat working with 12 other women in Costa Rica in which every day we danced, played music, practiced Hatha Yoga and shared our stories. One of the workshops I offered was called "Creating a Practice you'll Love." This is such a vital piece for an individual to continue growing and evoloving in whatever their art form is, and for the retreat we did, it felt to me so integral as a way to support the women in taking the practices we shared home and keeping momentum in their daily lives.
Practice is how we become. It can have many forms, and my definition of it is really more about connecting with source and self and allowing some time for that connection to deepen and mature over time. It is valuable and so vital to maintaining our passion and purpose in our lives.
Creating a practice you love requires a few simple external pieces:
- Creating a space for your practice: free of distractions, kids, pets, phones, and computers. A place where you can really be alone and undisturbed.
- Carving out the time for your practice: For some of us that's 15-30 minutes, if you have the time, I recommend an hour even if part of that time is just settling in, having a larger chunk of time allows for a deeper practice, but start with what you can commit to realistically.
- A practice Journal to write and reflect on your practice and how it has affected you or what your frustrations were getting there and how you overcame them, but a special journal that is just around your practice.
- Giving yourself Permission and requesting that from others in your life who may need to understand your need for not being bothered or disturbed in that time, perhaps your spouse or child.
- Sacred Environment: Choosing music or silence, incense, candles, etc that help to facilitate the energetic space you are wanting to drop into
Internally, creating a practice you love requires a little bit more! If you already have a strong practice, ask yourself how much joy you are really getting out of it. I don't mean just satisfaction that you did your practice, I mean joy and inspiration! Do you leave your practice feeling excited and hungry for the next one? Are you practicing your passion or what you think you should be practicing?
If you fiind yourself stuck or stagnating in your practice, try these tips:
- Try a new space, perhaps go into nature and allow it to inspire you for a few days a week or more, or rearrange your practice space, pick a different room, etc. Buy a plant or change the decor a bit to bring life into the space.
- Switch it Up: Try something different, if you love to play drums but you haven't danced in a while, use your body to connect to the rhythm and see how that changes your relationship to your instrument. Try doing what's not as comfortable and familiar in your practice, step out of your box and make yourself grow, even it it feels akward, do it for that very reason!
- Expand and challenge yourself: Go take a class or a workshop or find a way to be in community with others who share your passion and to learn something new to bring into your practice that is challenging and makes you feel fresh and WOWed.
- Practice with others: Have a gathering and bring others together to practice, even if there are different forms going on, say you are a dancer, bring some other dancers and a few drummers together and practice together, others often inspire new ways within us
- Pray when you practice: use it as a way to move energy and manifest your heart's desires
Lastly, it's OK to take a break sometimes for a short period of time to allow for newness to come thru. Sometimes space is the only way to get to that next place. Becoming rigid or attached to our practice being a certain way is not a healthy way to allow for creativity to flow organically, and is often what gets us stuck so explore allowing your practice to be just being, and listen to what may be waiting to speak thru the space of letting go!
Enjoy!
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Happy Valentine's Day: Practice Self Love
Arriving back in Costa Rica just two nights ago, I am already shifted into remembrance of how necessary and nurturing it is to have true quality time alone with nature and stillness. I am quickly remembering the value of deeply listening to the voice of the inner self by allowing and enjoying time away from the "world" and all of it's demands and expectations.
This Valentine's Day I am rising back into love with myself and I invite you to join me on the return to the deep heart space of self care and self reflection and appreciation. We spend so much of our lives caring for and catering to other people's needs, demands and requirements, especially for those of us who are women. We have a strong tendency to be sure others are cared for first and foremost and often leave our selves at the end of the line. By the time we get the time and space to consider our own needs, we are so exhausted by taking care of the others in our lives that we can't even remember what it was we actually needed! Give yourself to yourself this year and romance your self FIRST! A candle lite bath, a massage, a special treat, maybe even a quiet nite alone with a fire is in order rather than seeking outwarad or looking to someone else to romance you, find that divine romance within and cultivate that depth of love for yourself that you so often offer to others!
I am preparing to start the Awaken the Wild Woman Within Retreat here in Costa Rica with a group of 10 women who are heeding the call to reconnect deeply to their own passion, power, purpose and to listen to the strong clear voice that lives within us all that is our most authentic self. I know that this coming week with these women will bring much forth for all of us, presentors and participants alike. Our own heart connection with ourselves and the divine are the most valuable and long lasting romances we can have, and calling forth the passion and pleasure within ourselves does nothing but make us more attractive, sexy and pleasing to others to enjoy basking in our radiance!
Happy Valentine's Day and I pray it is your own treat to yourself to romance your own authentic love for YOUR SELF!
This Valentine's Day I am rising back into love with myself and I invite you to join me on the return to the deep heart space of self care and self reflection and appreciation. We spend so much of our lives caring for and catering to other people's needs, demands and requirements, especially for those of us who are women. We have a strong tendency to be sure others are cared for first and foremost and often leave our selves at the end of the line. By the time we get the time and space to consider our own needs, we are so exhausted by taking care of the others in our lives that we can't even remember what it was we actually needed! Give yourself to yourself this year and romance your self FIRST! A candle lite bath, a massage, a special treat, maybe even a quiet nite alone with a fire is in order rather than seeking outwarad or looking to someone else to romance you, find that divine romance within and cultivate that depth of love for yourself that you so often offer to others!
I am preparing to start the Awaken the Wild Woman Within Retreat here in Costa Rica with a group of 10 women who are heeding the call to reconnect deeply to their own passion, power, purpose and to listen to the strong clear voice that lives within us all that is our most authentic self. I know that this coming week with these women will bring much forth for all of us, presentors and participants alike. Our own heart connection with ourselves and the divine are the most valuable and long lasting romances we can have, and calling forth the passion and pleasure within ourselves does nothing but make us more attractive, sexy and pleasing to others to enjoy basking in our radiance!
Happy Valentine's Day and I pray it is your own treat to yourself to romance your own authentic love for YOUR SELF!
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Bliss of Being
Bliss of Being
When I play
I am alive again
The joy is instant
the passion's power tremendous
Flowing thru me like waves of grace
I am in bliss
The Bliss of Being
when hand strikes skin
rhythm begins
And I remember my true purpose
is for this...
Heard or unheard
I arrive at myself
Present
Empowered
Passionate
alive
Pulsing perfection
When I play
I am alive again
The joy is instant
the passion's power tremendous
Flowing thru me like waves of grace
I am in bliss
The Bliss of Being
when hand strikes skin
rhythm begins
And I remember my true purpose
is for this...
Heard or unheard
I arrive at myself
Present
Empowered
Passionate
alive
Pulsing perfection
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A Sharing from my Friend
I received this beautiful email the other day from a sweet fire muse brother I've known for many years..
It touched me deeply.. and I asked him if he would be open to me sharing it here, and he was. I hope you enjoy it and feel the heart of devotion opening in yourself!
Greetings friend,
Today, I invite you to take a moment and celebrate with me. Celebrate a day that is not determined by the rhythms on the outside, but which emerged from the rhythms within. Today, I celebrate 500 hours of music practice in this single year. This count, kept meticulously on my iphone, does not includ gigs, NWR jam sessions, teaching, etc. It’s time spent one on one, me with my instruments. As the 500 hour mark approached, I began to feel some depth of importance, some real sense of growth centered on this milestone. I wondered what I might do to mark the occasion, and it occurred to me that this moment, more than most other holidays, is particularly special to me, and that I wanted to share it with you.
When I practiced today, I roamed appreciatively through various compositions, occasionally branching off into delightful flights of fancy, and often returning to those thickets of untamed wilderness that demand the hope and sweat of disciplined focus. All was going well, and as is often the case, I played my way through a wide range of emotions- living, as it were, a day in the life of my drums.
When the 500 hour mark arrived, I stopped and closed my eyes. My heart was instantly filled with gratitude and I was flooded with an awareness of the bright blessings of my days. I saw the long path behind me, ever weaving my way towards a pattern of living that would provide all that it takes to make this kind of adventure, this practice, possible. What a great and glorious boon it is, I thought, to be able to study like this, to have time like this, to have a vehicle like this, and to have friends with which to share in its fruits. I reflected then, on all my teachers. I heard their names and saw their faces pass before my mind’s eye. With each one, the gratitude within me grew. I could feel them inside of me, their passions wrapped around my own, their own tireless practice woven into the very roots of my musical soul. And what of their teachers? The river of gratitude stretches beyond memory. Gazing into this stream, I felt that I had drunk from these waters and have now been forever changed by them. They flow within me.
It was at this point that I felt a sharp pain beneath my shoulder blades. At first I thought it was the familiar ache of sitting, but it quickly occurred to me that this feeling was a part of the moment. I suddenly knew what to do. I pushed my tablas forward and knelt before them, my forehead pressed to ground, my hands touching the base of each drum. The pain was instantly gone. The feeling in my heart burst forth through my mouth in waves of, “namaskar, namaskar, Aum, namaskar,” and, “thank you, thank you, thank you.” As I lay there, I had a vision.
I saw Ganesh, the elephant-headed remover of obstacles and maestro of tabla, a radiant, but translucent presence seated before the gates of the universe. With the stars and the galaxies arrayed behind him, I heard this idea: some are born into this world as Mozart, Einstien, or Jimi Hendrix, and some are born as worms, or frogs, or other creatures that have no dreams or means to grow them. There is no way to measure the distance, for the beginning is not ever at hand, nor is the end as clear as it seems. That thing you call your birth was only a moment, but you who practice are born again with each new day. And as you and your art are united, all that is outside, and all that is inside, become one.
So it was, this brisk day in the depths of December- a holy day, I feel. May this light that shines in me, bring some warmth to your path and open the way for your own journey. Whether you travel outward or inward, may you become what you are looking for.
It touched me deeply.. and I asked him if he would be open to me sharing it here, and he was. I hope you enjoy it and feel the heart of devotion opening in yourself!
Greetings friend,
Today, I invite you to take a moment and celebrate with me. Celebrate a day that is not determined by the rhythms on the outside, but which emerged from the rhythms within. Today, I celebrate 500 hours of music practice in this single year. This count, kept meticulously on my iphone, does not includ gigs, NWR jam sessions, teaching, etc. It’s time spent one on one, me with my instruments. As the 500 hour mark approached, I began to feel some depth of importance, some real sense of growth centered on this milestone. I wondered what I might do to mark the occasion, and it occurred to me that this moment, more than most other holidays, is particularly special to me, and that I wanted to share it with you.
When I practiced today, I roamed appreciatively through various compositions, occasionally branching off into delightful flights of fancy, and often returning to those thickets of untamed wilderness that demand the hope and sweat of disciplined focus. All was going well, and as is often the case, I played my way through a wide range of emotions- living, as it were, a day in the life of my drums.
When the 500 hour mark arrived, I stopped and closed my eyes. My heart was instantly filled with gratitude and I was flooded with an awareness of the bright blessings of my days. I saw the long path behind me, ever weaving my way towards a pattern of living that would provide all that it takes to make this kind of adventure, this practice, possible. What a great and glorious boon it is, I thought, to be able to study like this, to have time like this, to have a vehicle like this, and to have friends with which to share in its fruits. I reflected then, on all my teachers. I heard their names and saw their faces pass before my mind’s eye. With each one, the gratitude within me grew. I could feel them inside of me, their passions wrapped around my own, their own tireless practice woven into the very roots of my musical soul. And what of their teachers? The river of gratitude stretches beyond memory. Gazing into this stream, I felt that I had drunk from these waters and have now been forever changed by them. They flow within me.
It was at this point that I felt a sharp pain beneath my shoulder blades. At first I thought it was the familiar ache of sitting, but it quickly occurred to me that this feeling was a part of the moment. I suddenly knew what to do. I pushed my tablas forward and knelt before them, my forehead pressed to ground, my hands touching the base of each drum. The pain was instantly gone. The feeling in my heart burst forth through my mouth in waves of, “namaskar, namaskar, Aum, namaskar,” and, “thank you, thank you, thank you.” As I lay there, I had a vision.
I saw Ganesh, the elephant-headed remover of obstacles and maestro of tabla, a radiant, but translucent presence seated before the gates of the universe. With the stars and the galaxies arrayed behind him, I heard this idea: some are born into this world as Mozart, Einstien, or Jimi Hendrix, and some are born as worms, or frogs, or other creatures that have no dreams or means to grow them. There is no way to measure the distance, for the beginning is not ever at hand, nor is the end as clear as it seems. That thing you call your birth was only a moment, but you who practice are born again with each new day. And as you and your art are united, all that is outside, and all that is inside, become one.
So it was, this brisk day in the depths of December- a holy day, I feel. May this light that shines in me, bring some warmth to your path and open the way for your own journey. Whether you travel outward or inward, may you become what you are looking for.
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