Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Starwood re-connection


Arriving late in the night, the first thing I heard was the drums resonating across the distance in the cool misty night. My heart warmed to hear the consistent pulse of others who feel the call that I do to this unique and magical experience of playing music all night for no other reason than sharing pure bliss and joy with others. The beat was familiar, and I found myself smiling instantly. It was the same groove I have heard on that land for years, what I had affectionately named"The Brushwood Funk": a very unique 4/4 foundation with a lot of pitter patter on top and one or two distinct djembes carving out the backbeat.

Two AM, and I could feel that the end of second shift was approaching. I felt perfectly synchronized to arrive just before third shift. There are very very distinct times in the night that those of us who have participated in this sub-culture of the drum for many years have come to know, and refer to as "shifts." First, second, third, and Blue shift, and typically (though certainly not always) the energy, musicality and vibe gets higher and more clear with the turning of each shift. There are other cultures (India especially) who connect the rhythms of the time of day to unique energetics as well, and in the all night drum and dance realm, it is so clearly evident you can almost set your watch to it. Predictable patterns, feelings, emotive qualities, etc. are a given for certain times of the night and anyone who spends much time at all playing music into the night, or the day for that matter, begins to get familiar with those "shifts."

Pulling up to the fire, I felt so many emotions rolling thru me, along with a deep stillness and presence of mind. I had not been to this land, this fire, for 7 years. A perfect cycle for me of growth, evolution and transformation was about to be completed in this week of drumming and all night rituals, and I could feel the edges of that reality. They were tangible, palpable and I felt so much grace pouring thru me as I arrived and moved into the magical realm I love so much. Many of my most intense musical and spiritual experiences with the drum had occurred right at this fire 7-12 years ago. I had cried, wept, sang my heart out, danced into bliss, bled, shed and been wed to my drum here at this place. Countless hours of prayer in my hands on skin, countless dancers falling at my feet, countless nights of all night magic and mysticism, countless wanderings into the deepest places of my own psyche and the psyche of others had occurred right here... and here I was, once again, 7 years later feeling so completely at home, so completely at peace, so completely transparent.

In the week back on this land, my heart was busted wide open once again, as it has been so many times before. The rememberances of the growth and the love that fire, drumming, dancing and bringing in the dawn with others were such a profound and beautiful experience to feel. Every time I do an all night circle, anywhere in the world, I feel so grateful for whatever pulse it is that moves thru those of us who cherish this work/play. I recognize how unique and strong we are, and I am so so grateful that I have been chosen for this sacred, wild and maybe slightly crazy path! There is just some super magical essence, some etheral otherworldy quality that emerges in the deepest part of night that, when we stay witness to it, keeps our bodies and spirits engaged, and goes beyond the illusion of tiredness as it transforms us and unifies us in a way that nothing else I've ever experienced can do.

In sharing with old friends there at Brushwood who I haven't seen or even spoken to in 7 or more years, the depth of our connection was profound and simply evident to me. I felt like these people knew me more, deeper and more completely than those whom I spend every day with in my "mundane" world. There is a comfort, a knowingness, an acceptance, a LOVE that just completely goes beyond familiarity or friendship into the realm of true spirit kin. Kin who hold no expectations or need for anything but true transparent sharing of space and time, prayer and beingness.

On Sunday morning, making my last few "O's" around the fire before departing, I took the time (and courage) to look every single person in the eye for three full slow walking rounds. Not just a glance, I held intention and created a true "making the connection" with each person. Maybe 50 or more people were still present well after dawn and each one of them granted me access to their hearts; each one of them was holding joy and a tenderness that I rarely see anywhere else or in any other space but this one. There was a vulnerability and a gratitude at being seen, accepted, and honored by me as I truly and fully was experiencing myself thru and in each of them and I knew that they too were experiencing their love thru the love in my eyes. From the tattooed, pierced and naked bodied super funky friekky folk, to the women moving thru the circle in wheelchairs who had limited use of their bodies but who's spirit's were alive and in joy to be together with others at dawn: all were in love.

Magic...
Music...
Acceptance...
Peace...
Dancing...
Firelight...
Sunshine emerging...
Mists Lifting...
rain Falling...
Muddy bodies Rejoicing...
Smiles of such delightful souls...
Intangible Grace...
Spiritual/Emotional Transformation to the Gold Within...

These are the rewards for the strong wild breed that celebrates life in this way...
We share
We accept each other, and we offer our gratitude...

I LOVE this work and I am so grateful to have gotten to go home to that land for 5 days to pay my respects and shed some skin!

Thank you for all of you who were there with me... I am so in love with you always and forever more... I will never forget your eyes and the wisdom therein..

Friday, July 10, 2009

Chaos: the sweet surrender to the great unknown

Swirly void
Envelope me
Find me in my peaceful place
Stir me
Shake me to my core
Remind me
To find you once more

You
who so often is feared
Left out in the far away places
Afraid to be seen
An untouchable
Yet I welcome you now

Come
Teach me of your depths
Limitless potential
Boundless energy
Fullness of all that is nothing

Infinite potentiality
exists in your disguise
The great unknown
Mystery
Like the deep heart of night
But much less still

Find me
Remind me
Teach me
Unleash me
Let my edges be pushed to the places I have forgotten

I surrender to you
And out of you
I find the Grace
I know I AM
Emerging softly
thru my tears
Thru my resistance

And on the other side
I see once again
The light of God.


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Chaos is, as I talk about in Muse Power, the wellspring of creation, the void of new birth, and it is a wonderful and magical experience to emerge from it's swirly soup with clarity, and newness awaiting discovery!

It's all about the surrender.. those of you who have Mused with me in the Muse Jam's, you know this place, we go thru it in every Muse.. and every single time, the magic that comes through it is so beautiful.. for me, the Muse is my metaphor for life.. what happens there, I KNOW is what will happen in life.. if I follow the same course of surrender, allowing and letting go... The Muses are my guide and reminder in moments of chaos, or stillness, or perfection.. all of it.. they teach me everything I need for life skills... I know many of you know this too! :) That's why I wrote the book after all! :)

Please share your experiences of chaos and it's passionate place in your life! :) Love to hear from you!