The Moment

Ever have one of those moments when you meet a beloved soul, one that you know from some other world, some other time.. eyes meet, hearts are instantly connected, you know you could sink into those arms and be as one heart, as lovers, as makers of magic? Here's a little poem about an experience I had a few nites ago with a new friend... Enjoy1

The Moment

Timeless Moment
The veil between the worlds melts
Wrapped in surrender

As two become one
Eternity stretches out it’s arms
Enfolds me in it’s full presence
I enter
Willingly seduced

Awareness
Expands beyond beyond

I am
Whispering wind
Shuddering Earth
Embodied fire
Tears of grace
Like the seas of eternity
Washing all time away

For one dance
One encapsulated jewel of time

Sipping curiosity
With a twist of bliss

Softness I am

Chaos Calling

Sweetest swirling madness
Blinding & surreal
Alluring

Seductively drawing me in
again and again
to dance upon
the razor's edge

I await you
like a lover
ready to give my very breath
to breathe in yours
and feel your passion pulsing thru me

Like an addict
Here I sit
just jonesin for yet another
hit of you
Living just to feel that
bump that brings me the fix I need
to make me feel what's real
To feed the longing that
lives within
when you have gone
away too long

Reeling wildly
all outside inside
spinning in
cacophonic elusive non formedness
You mesmerize me
Ravaging me to my core
leaving me breathless
and wanting more

Somehow in your embrace
the stillpoint within
is magnified
beyond comprehensible imagination
Beyond what possibility can define...

And I am hungry like a raging beast
to be filled again
by you..

I am magnetized
hypnotized
by the blurry realm
that rises
in between the worlds
to meet my gaze

Thru the embers
of the raging blaze
I find some source
of source of source
in the insanity you offer

I welcome you
I am your dancer
ready to move at your command

You are my completion
Surrendering all to you
is my pleasure
my sustenance
my love..

I come searching for you
late in the nite
wandering down back alleys
on cobblestone streets
three am calling me
like a zombie beneath the moon
to find some glimpse
some shadow of you
darting around the corners
the eternal elusive lover
chasing me as I chase you..

And knowing that
in courting you
I court the darkness
As an ally
to match the light
that gives me
the power to meet you
face to face
fearlessly..

Tribal Convergence 2011: Off to a Solid Start!

Bathing in the beautiful surreal afterbliss of an inspiring event is always a mix of emotions for me within the grace of a heart opening experience. Sweet with joyful memories, and a heart so full of love, inspiration, gratitude and profound tenderness, and melancholy with the missing of the tribe's physical proximity, I feel so many swirling reminders of my human-ness expanding once again! The gathering was truly rooted, seeded, planted and cultivated in a deep heart space of love and tribe which made for one of the sweetest and purest feelings of family love I've felt at an event of this size!

Tribal Convergence was up there with one of the top gatherings I've been to in a lot of years. I was interested in going after meeting Jamaica Stevens in Costa Rica at Envision Festival. Other than being a sister that I felt a deep resonance with, I also sensed her presence of professionalism and even beyond that, her comittment and devotion to stepping up to play a role within a huge global movement that is in full swing. It took me about 2 minutes to commit to supporting her event and coming to Portland to check it out and I am so glad that I did!

The Tribal Convergence Vision Statement from their website reads as follows:
"Build the world you want. Through discussion, collaboration, and celebration, we will link the west coast communities together into a larger network that will offer knowledge, resources, skills, and support to all in the years to come." The two words that caught my attention as offering something different were "discussion" and "collaboration." Dialogue and real organized structured time spent in these ways in groups is vital and has for me felt like a huge missing component to a lot of great events.

The magic of the site (Tidewater Falls, OR) with the pure essence of nature dripping it's own sweet bliss, was married with great music and workshops, solid leadership and a strong facilitation team which made for a truly remarkable first year event. The energy remained clear, pure and sweet and allowed for the unfolding of each person present thru total acceptance and inclusion in co-creating a container and an experience for all there to share in. Several regional sub-groups (Or tribes) were formed and on both Friday and Saturday evenings, each "tribe" sat together in council, answering a series of questions designed to open dialogue on what possibilities existed and/or what could be created. Most importantly, I thought, was the request, and the call, for everyone present to take some kind of positive action step towards creating and cultivating the lives, communities and culture that we want to see more of in this world and in these times.

I was honored to have been invited to participate and looking forward to the continuation of this way of sharing. Dialogue and open discussion in partnership with collaborative efforts are clearly signs of maturity and growth amongst individuals and communities. I know the seeds of this work will continue to bear fruit in many hearts and communities and I offer my hand in service to support and co-create!

Thanks to the Tribal Convergence team and facilitators and to all present who shared in this magical heart opening expression of the truth of our beingness! See you at the next one!

Beloved Awaiting: A Poem of Love

My heart is the heart of the beloved
In me lives all of eternity
One kiss and you would be mine
One sip of this bliss,
magic unending, bending time
Lifting Illusion
And all else would fade into me.

Even love is romanced in sensuality's sweet embrace
My body is the temple of all lovers
Come to the door and see beyond what seems to be

Men fear this union I am
Where all becomes one within
Where time's perception blurs
in ecstasy's unbridled dance of hypnotic allure

My lips are the portal to all that you think you seek
The romance is in the seeking
The kiss is the release

My touch is like the wind
Soft, barely present in moments
Overtaking you with raging desire in others

I know you behind your skin
Your initiation is the fire of my passion
burning within you to know the truth of truths'

With skin on skin all time is erased
for the brave and fearless who are granted acess to the Promised Land

My heart is the heart of the beloved
My body the temple of all lovers
Dance in me and all of life is dancing through you

You can not yet see what lives in me
You have not yet found
the Divine Romance that is your birthright

Between the spaces of time
I await you
Bejeweled with diamonds and rubies
Sapphires beaming in my eyes
Your beloved bride to be

Roots of Music: A quote from Ty Burhoe

"I happen to be of the opinion that the roots of music and art are in fact Shamanistic. The very act of creating art often involves taking risk and opening to un-charted mysteries. There is always risk in expressing ones true feelings. There is risk in breaking through boundaries which limit our expression and freedoms. There is risk in reaching out to help others open their hearts and let what is inside find equilibrium with the Universe. So I would say that taking risk is actually part of the job description as an artist. And that risk can manifest as a simple artistic expression or as a movement towards a dangerous situation where people are suffering."

Ty Burhoe

Orisha Ceremony: Healing Power of Drumming

Jesus Limon Morales: My teacher and Renowned Afro-Cuban Music Composer in Cuba


My teachers invited me to a Santeria Ceremony a few days ago. I accepted with full enthusiasm, having no real idea what I was getting myself into but really excited to have been invited in my first week here to experience a ceremony in this ancient tradition first hand. Somehow in my mind, I created a vision of what I thought it might be, both from their enthusiasm and the fact that it seemed like everywhere I looked,as we were getting ready to depart, there were Santos whirling about. I assumed they were all going to the same event. I was visualizing this huge gathering, maybe outdoors somewhere with hordes of drummers and dancers from all over the area. My new friend Jose, the guitar player, warned me to keep my eyes open and protect my heart. He thought I might be too emotionally open and that it could be dangerous for me to not keep my guard up. "You may see things you have never seen before, so be careful and don't let yourself get emotionally involved." Those words of course made the suspense and excitement grow in leaps and bounds!

Ishmael, my angel already, walked with me in his snazzy white pants and sharp shoes to get a cab and we all climbed in and took off on my first adventure into exploring this religion and culture that is Santeria. I really had no idea what I was getting myself into, but my heart told me it was right, good and safe and I trusted in that knowingness fully! I wonder what they think of this little white woman who has just shown up in their lives like a sponge to absorb their wisdom and witness their lives. I am so comfortable with these beautiful people. I've never been here, but it's familiar in ways I can't explain, and they are familiar in spirit like some family I've returned home to. I'm walking in and out of people's homes as if I've been here for years or my whole life, and this is only the 5th day here! I'm jumping fully into this with all of my being and loving every minute of it! Somehow I know they can see and feel that my heart and intentions are pure and I feel like that's why things have opened up for me so quickly and effortlessly!

We got to the ceremony and I was simutaneously relieved and disappointed that it was a small, intimate house ceremony with about 25 people. This was a very safe container and a very safe place to be and the intimacy was welcomed. I was instantly engrossed in the moment and the spectacle that was already in full swing when we arrived. The ceremony was held at a home in a neighboring town, a little apartment style house with a small living space that was jam packed full of people. As we entered, we doused our foreheads and hands with rose petal water to clean and purify ourselves. No one really seemed to acknowledge anything out of the ordinary when the little white woman walked in, so I felt like it was OK that I was there though I wouldn't say I exactly felt "welcomed" right away. It was an intense vibe. No one (except Jesus) smiled at me or really even looked at me for quite a while. My teachers were drumming and singing beautiful Orisha chants in Yoruba and this little living room was rocking! I was dancing and in bliss right away and my heart was smiling the biggest smile ever! The dream is alive.

An elder woman sat in the corner, eyes closed, swaying back and forth with the drums, deeply in trance next to the drummers. Jesus Sr. was playing the bell in a blue silk shirt, ragged jeans and a blue khaki cap topping his smiling head. He would give me the biggest toothiest grin, and be singing the songs with really big mouth gestures to try to help me get the words. His big joyful eyes drew my heart to opening right away! So much for Jose's warning! The music was so powerful, so beautiful and alive as Jesuscito (Jesus Jr) would call out the songs and everyone else would sing the responses. I gained mad respect for the Jesus's skill today. They are such skilled musicians and spirit guides! These two men are my new rhythm friends and I totally feel and understand their hearts in service to the people thru rhythm. I couldn't help but feel amazed and overwhelmingly grateful that spirit has so quickly brought me to these masters to learn and experience this magic that is Santeria.

It wasn't long after we arrived that the woman in the corner started shaking and convulsing. Spirit was taking her on a journey. A woman in a green shirt fell into possession and thrashed about nearly knocking over the altar in her violent gestures, head snaps and pops. Another woman, dressed in red popped next and so it went into whirling stumbling trances and possessions, people getting occassionally carried out when they got too high. Throughout the 3 hours, there were several intermittent episodes of the elder woman in the corner getting up and pushing every one else out of the way in her reeling and flopping around, stumbling and falling into the drums, then opening her eyes to see the support of her community and family witnessing her trance, she would smile and go back in. I gathered that the ceremony had some special significance for her healing as she seemed to be given special treatment and space. Just as in our ceremonies with the Muse work, Firedance, etc. the dancer was watched and kept safe by the others present, and more than once this elder woman fell into my arms and was supported to re-enter her trance by a place to lean into and re-group.

All the while Jesus just kept hammering the most beautiful grooves and ecstatic trance with his voice and the rhythms merging into shared communion with spirit, self and community. Sofiah, a tiny wrinkled woman with no teeth danced next to me for the whole ceremony, grabbing my arm or hitting me softly when she was really feeling it, her squinty eyes smiling out at me from the wrinkles. She was adorable and so loving having my company there to share the journey with her. All the women were so given to the dance and we danced together for 3 hours joining in a universal place beyond the physical realm that transcends all differences.

I laughed thinking of Jose's "warning" a few hours ago! How could my heart be anything but open here? There was nothing to protect myself from or be afraid of, and I knew there would be nothing here that was unfamiliar to me or scary in any way. I have seen in my work with drum and dance all kinds of states of trance, possession and spirit magic and even though much of it has not been "traditional" in the way that this is, still spirit moves people thru rhythm in very similar ways energetcially. This is my home! The world of spirit, rhythm, trance, dance and magic is no place I could even consider closing my heart to. This living room and everyone in it know and understand the same heart/spirit space that I do, they understand this connection, and all of us were there together in harmony and total surrender to the rhythm spirits.

The trance brought the older woman back to the dance and after some time of wobbling around and stumbling, she suddenly stood up straight and opened her eyes again. It was as if something in her had lifted and been cleansed, or healed. Her smile was bright and she looked 20 years younger. She picked up a bouquuet of basil and thrashed us all good with it, hitting the young men squarely on their crotches as if to acknowledge their naughtiness, the she sat back down by the drums and went inside again.

The ceremony closed with a beautiful chant to Elegua and a path was made to the door for Elegua to go on his way. We shared sweets and I discovered I indeed have a spirit family here in Cuba. We have danced together, shared our hearts and witnessed each other in altered states of consciousness created solely by music and entrainment. We are now family in a way only those of us who know this path can know or understand fully. It is an unbreakable bond to share this kind of experience. When I walked in no one smiled at me, but now we were all smiling and hugging each other.

I am living a dream I've been dreaming of for a lot of years and I'm choosing today to say that this is just the beginning! Returning to the Roots and loving every minute!

Journal Entry from the Trip to the Rock in the Caribbean

Day 3 here on this rock in the Caribbean Sea. I feel rebellious and so blissed out of my gourd I can barely stand it. Officially, by record, I'm nowhere, I've disappeared and some part of me wonders what would happen if I just didn't go back in 3 weeks. If it were all over tomorrow and a big wave came up and swept me away, I'd die content. I've had an amazing life, and the magic that has happened here in the past 3 days would have me flying back to source with a big smile on my face knowing I have lived a dream I've had for many years!

My first night, my friend Frank and I were wandering around the streets of this little ocean village and came across a man who amazingly spoke English. There aren't many here. I told him I was here seeking to learn about the Santeria Religion and Rhythms, and he informed me that he'd just heard some drumming behind his house and gave me directions. We hunted down the house and the Bembe (Santos ceremony of music, song and dance) was just ending. People in white were filtering outside and dispersing into the streets. Since I had just landed, I hadn't yet had any time to get a grasp on what is acceptable and how to approach this, so I was feeling a mixture of total excitement, and some nervousness about approaching anyone. Especially since my Spanish is far from fluent still! I could feel this little buzz in my heart and couldn't believe my good fortune that the very first night I am here, I would come upon this so quickly!

So I hovered outside, and Frank was encouraging me to wait til the morning and come back to the house and ask. Me being me though, I just didn't want to wait til morning for what I could maybe initiate now. So I hovered, and watched and waited and Frank and I cracked jokes about having ourselves sacrificied for being there hovering outside of their sacred space cracking jokes about being sacrficied! A very tall man somehow energetically caught my attention, and I decided he was the one I would approach, or maybe Spirit had decided for me. I was laughing at myself, "Sure pick the biggest guy around who looks the most intimidating and start there!" As he left, I grabbed Frank by the arm and followed him down the street, and I don't think Frank was super comfortable with all of this by the way. We followed him until he was about 100 yards from the house and I attempted to communicate in my limited Spanish that with all due respect, I had a question and would he be willing to grant me permission to ask. He was gracious, looked at me kind of funny at first (probably my Spanish), and said, "Si." When I told him I was interested in learning about the religion and the music, he gave a big smile and told me to come to his house, which we were now standing in front of, the next day at 10 AM and he would have someone there to teach me. His name was Ishmael, and I feel somehow like he is an angel indeed brought to me, or I to him to start this magical journey!

The next day I showed up at Ishmael's home. Ishmael is a big, beautiful, mature man, maybe in his late 40's, tall, elegant and with a tender heart and a kind way about him. He showed me his altars in his home honoring the different Orisha's of his tradition, Ilegua (the keeper of the doors between the worlds) lives behind his door to guard the opening to the house, Ogun & Chango were in the living room near the kitchen and assured me that "poco a poco" I would come to know more. I was glad I came with atleast a little knowledge of Santeria and the Orisha's from my time exploring on my own and my own spiritual guidance that has cracked open those doors for me. His house was tidy, and simple like most homes there and he led me out back to the "yard" which really is just a concrete slab with a tree coming out of it where I would be taking my lessons.

The doors here are opening for me and quickly. Everywhere I look there are Santos,and I have learned a lot in just a few short days about the religion. I have taken 2 drum classes already with Jesus Limon Morales and his son Jesucito. As it turns out, Jesus Limon Morales is a pretty well known composer (some here say "famosa") of Afro Cuban music here, so miraculously, in this little village by the sea, I was led to some pretty solid real deal connections!

The first lesson I was a little nervous I guess and had a really hard time with the language barrier, but it was beautiful because even with that, we were still able to have this profound conversation about how singing, drumming and dancing activate the mind to heal and help us to connect in ways that nothing else really does. I felt like these two men I'd just met understand something I know and feel that it seems few others do. They really understand the body/mind/spirit connection of the rhythms and their effects. They understand how it opens the portal to the Divine.
I felt like we understood each other on this whole other level, a very real level somehow and I left feeling more connected in just a few short hours to these men than I do to a lot of people I have known for years and realizing that the people I feel the most "family" with in my heart are those who understand these truths fully.

I am here with deep and ancient spirits, my teachers lineage goes back generations in the Santeria tradition, all the way back to the Yoruba roots. In a few days they are taking me to my first ceremony here and I am feeling very honored and blessed to feel the portals opening to me here! I rest tonite giving thanks for every part of the journey that has brought me here now.

Initiation: Returning to the Roots

My shower tonite felt like a ritual. Tomorrow I fly to Cuba for 20 days and I feel like it is some kind of overdue long awaited intiation.

Memories of a circle in Florida, playing all night long where I felt the Orisha's dancing my body, where I first began to understand the reality of spirit posession and it's power and purpose. Memories of a night in Georgia where they ripped through my core and overtook me fully and I became their vessel for play and expression. So many memories of these Rhythm Spirits, some so far back in my consciousness I know they weren't from this life. I have been tentative to approach them, but I have been called more than once to hear their voices.

I bathed tonite in release of my past and in surrender to this unique path of rhythm and magic that is my life's passion and purpose.

I hear them calling me home and at last I have found the courage to answer.

Gratitude: Pura Vida Bliss

There are days, and today is most definitely one of them, when I wake up and look around me and almost can’t believe I’m not dreaming. I have to rub my eyes and pinch myself when I gaze out over the vista that greets me. The artistry of the creator, who and whatever it is, amazes me to inexplicable degrees. Nature is so enticingly delightful to my senses in every way possible. I feel tickled, sweetened, gooey and so ripe with love and grace in her embrace.

The perfect blue of the sky melts before me into the azure liquid bliss of the ocean held by the shore in the most epic curvaceous land formation known here as the Whale’s Tail. The sand bar merging with the black rocks creates the big tail fin a whale would slap on the surface. Those rocks make for fluffy white breakers that contrast the stillness of the tranquil blue water that eternally extends to the sky. I especially love low tide in the early morning when there is still a little bit of a misty haze floating over the ocean and the eye can’t detect where the ocean ends and the sky begins.

My heart stops for a moment and I take a deep breath, say an inner “WOW” and give thanks for all that has brought me to be here now. This year here has been the best by far. I have enjoyed it the most, felt the most connected, taken lots of time alone in solitude with nature and felt the most at home here. I feel so blessed to get to experience this place and to really sink into it’s rhythm, it’s grace, it’s ability to soften and wisen the heart just by being in it and allowing is a huge gift that continues to unfold every time I return.

I walk in gratitude today once again and welcome the continuing softening of my lotus heart as it unfolds to meet the grace of nature’s magical mystical musing.


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Great thanks to Josh Wendel for holding and manifesting the vision of Selva Armonia and for the opportunity to be involved and share this magic! The retreat center is well under way and we are inviting groups who are looking for space to host programs as soon as December of this year! If you know of people who are looking to host programs in Costa Rica, this is one magical piece of paradise with facilities for 15 people, and epic views that will have you WOWing every morning too! Magic, Mindfulness, Health, Harmony, Creativity, Music & Celebration of Life: It's what we're all about at Selva Armonia!

Jungle Muse: Drumming in Costas Rica

I am so blessed to be living in a truly magical place right now, nestled deep in the heart of the jungle perched up above the Pacific Ocean with a magnificient view of a land formation known here as “Coasta Baillena” or “The Whale’s Tail.” I’ve been coming to this magical place for 5 years now working with a good friend on a vision for a center for musicians, artists and conscious creatives to enjoy, learn, rejuvenate and practice the artistry of life in harmony with nature!

Part of what has continued to attract me and keep me interested in this place is the community that is growing and thriving here. There are people from all over the world coming here to work and live in a different way, a more sustainable, more “tranquillo,” more community oriented way that offers a much different quality of life than what modern mainstream society and culture seems to offer.

One of the things I’ve observed and resonated with in the people that I meet here is a deep appreciation for the simple pleasures of life: good food, good conversation, nature, and a real love and appreciation of sharing creativity, music and inspiration together as often as possible!!

Last night I went to visit my friend Andrew’s finca (farm) just down the road from Selva Armonia for a little pizza party he throws there every Friday night in the jungle. Interestingly enough, Andrew and I met almost 10 years ago in North Carolina in the African Drum and Dance community in Asheville. When I first came here, 5 years ago, I thought it was pretty groovy and synchronic that Andrew lived on the same road that Selva Armonia was on! I took it as a very good sign to already have at least one drumming buddy here!

The pizza party happens all around the tiny little fire fueled clay oven with just a few benches and a grassy hill to lounge on, and with about 20 people showing up for a nite of sharing in the jungle, roots style, there was a good amount of energy and love to bask in!

For me, there is just something so incredibly magical about playing in the dark of night, nestled deep in nature, far away from city sounds or distractions. It allows the real me to surface effortlessly, especially once a drum comes within my little wild hands, and even more so when a few other experienced solid players emerge to groove with me! Being immersed in nature and playing music allows us to become deeply connected to the earth’s energy in a very powerful way. Tribal people of course have known this forever. For me, the experience is always a direct portal to blissful union with God, self and others. When that pocket of connectivity really anchors itself thru all of the players present, it seems that nature responds and unites with us, and thru us and the wisdom of harmony is transmitted through the ethers, resonating thru the stars!

There were moments last night when I could feel the insects pulsating in sync with our playing, the nite birds chiming in on the spaces that were there between beats, and all of nature totally in the groove with us. The only light was a few candles they were cooking pizza by and the clay oven’s flame behind us. The stars above were brilliantly dancing and fully be-dazzling me with their star songs. The moments of transcendance from linear time and space that music seems to create, granted me refuge, sanctuary and freedom from all of the monkey business of the mind and it’s stories!

Bliss is pretty much a given for me in moments like these where good people are together in nature sharing in the simple pleasures of life, opening our hearts to each other, the cosmos and our own divine reflections of grace and wisdom. So grateful for the opportunity to share in the Jungle Muse!

Oneness Gathering: Costa Rica

The Oneness Gathering/Bioregional Council was held on Sat Mar 19, 1-4pm, Hotel Angelus, Perez Zeledon. I was invited to attend to host a Full Moon Muse Drum Celebration with the community and also was there to represent and share about what we are up to at Selva Armonia, in Uvita. Beyond all of that, though, I was curious and excited to meet the larger community here in Costa Rica of activated like minded people who are living in a different way for so many valid and good reasons! It has been such a blessing to come down here and see what's going on, but I've been so busy working most years here, that I haven't had a chance to get into the larger community to meet others and explore other projects. I was excited to have this opportunity to connect and get a bigger picture of the who's, what's, how's and why's going on in SW Costa Rica Pura Vidaville!

And being an event organizer also, I was impressed that they were expecting 50 people for the event as I know how hard it can be to get people to show up to even the most amazing of events!

So, my first piece is Gratitude: "Thank you and Great work" I say to the organizers of the Oneness Gathering! The bringing together of brilliant minds, elders and youth, open hearts and a willingness to unify with a strong foundation and clear intention can only hold goodness and unlimited possibilities for more goodness! The last count I did just before sunset had the group at about 45 people, and I think a few more showed up during the drumming and Full Moon Muse I hosted after the presentations were over!

It was inspiring and affirming to see the strength that has gathered and anchored in this area of Costa Rica to work on sustainable living practices, personal growth and living in harmony with a higher calling. Solid, mature, connected hearts and committed minds from all over the world shared their projects in the circle, resourcing and sharing their gifts together in a circle. There were a few Tico's present, and my hope is that there are more coming to share with us their experience and knowledge as I feel strongly that the integration of those who have lived and grown here for centuries with the new comers is a vital piece that absolutely must happen in order for total harmony and sustainability to thrive.

The Full Moon drum celebration was super high energy and really a sweet way to cap of the day of presentations and discussions. The following morning, those who stuck around for the night shared in a beautiful heart opening cacao ceremony together, sharing in the truth of our radiant and tender hearts! The photo here is that group post cacao, and the bliss and love were sent out to the whole world through the jewels of our expanded heart lotus blossoms!

I feel blessed to have been invited to participate and to have been there representing Selva Armonia and I look forward to the next event and the unfolding of the love and magic and sustainable efforts that is definitely in full swing here in SW Costa Rica. Thanks to all who attended and participated and shared! It was such a joy and a blessing to see so much amazing reflection and empowered essence of humanity in one place!


Here is the description the organizers posted on the event:

The circle process will welcome and bless the joined intention of individuals, fincas, communities and groups as we move into “new earth consciousness.” We will share a “seed/seedling exchange,” as a way of introducing ourselves and clarifying our purpose as stewards of our amazing bioregional habitat. As we step together into an ever-accelerating time of transformation, we put our commitment to Oneness ahead of any personal or political differences.

The circle will be facilitated by a leadership team that includes Chema, designer and developer of Casa Tordesillas, Desiree Wells, facilitator of permaculture and earth building at Finca Fruicion, Louis Bourgeois, Founder of the OASIS Center for Conscious Living, and Don McDougal, ambassador for the ManKind Project in Central America.

Practical questions that will be addressed include: who are we? What are we looking to accomplish as communities, fincas, and groups? How can we support each other as spiritual family? (ie seed exchange, tool sharing, etc.) How can we as a bioregion function as a cohesive network? (collaboration vs. competition)

For more info, contact Louis Bourgeouis on Facebook!

Bird Song Bliss

The soft billowy mists are rising out of the lush green valley in front of me as toucans, parrots and an orchestra of bird and insect songs awaken me again in the remembrance of the joy of life that nature is always expressing.

How can I not awaken in joy hearing this most beautiful jungle song?

The jungle is such a sweet reminder of how life loves to express itself, and the magic of each new day bringing yet another opportunity to invite life to move and live itself through me. Each place I visit and sleep holds it’s own unique sonic vibration, and I feel like I am learning peace and experiencing bliss in more profoundly unique ways in each one of these magical places. Last nite, there were night sounds I hadn’t heard yet, and I floated into such a deep dreamstate on a sonic carpet that pulsated through me, calming every cell of me before taking me effortlessly into the dreamtime. It is possibly my favorite thing about living in Costa Rica: being so close to and surrounded by jungle. As a musical and expressive being, the expression here is so comforting and so mystically entrancing, I simply can’t get enough. I open my whole being to the vibrations here, allowing them to massage every piece of me, mind, body and spirit and the sensuality it awakens in me goes beyond my ability to express in any cognitive way.

The more time I am in the heart of nature, the less appealing modern culture becomes. The birdsongs alone here in the mornings have captured a piece of my soul that nothing in modern culture, no eye candy or ear candy, can ever come close to enticing or stirring in me. Sitting here now, I am watching myriads of them show up, brightly splashed in brilliant colors, two here with a wave of blue perfectly painted on it’s wings and a yellow head are climbing up the thatch roof and just landing now in front of me now with a whirlwind of blue, two magical little tweeters that look like they’ve been dipped in the dawn’s softest blue hue.

How can I not be totally impressed by the artist who has created this diversity and beauty? Their songs fill the air, my heart is busted open in love and gratitude that I get to experience this bliss, this truth of simple beingness that is available for those of us who have the courage to explore and seek out the reality that goes far beyond the maya that modern culture is trying to brainwash us with.

I’m in love and nature has brought me home again, as she always does, to the truth of who I am. In her embrace, I soften and crack open. I find stillness is easy and my mind rests. Joy is natural and spontaneous just in the listening. Then opening the eyes to feast on the curvaceousness of the rolling green hills and soft emerald green of the forest is a feast of delite! In her magical playground I find true solace, comfort and the remembrance of the joy that life holds intrinsically when we just live connected to the experience of life and let life move thru us. She grants me space to feel nurtured in the midst of these times when it seems much of the “human creation” is showing up to be, for me, a game I am not so interested in indulging in anymore.

She welcomes me home over and over with open loving arms and moments of magical mystical bliss. I pray and she responds in a flower or a bird or a song. I open and she fills me fully with the truth!

Volcan Baru

SUNSET:

My legs are still a bit stiff and my heart and mind still full of magic and love after a journey to Volcan Baru in Panama with a new friend from the Envision Festival weekend in Uvita, Costa Rica. The journey to Panama from Costa Rica took us thru the Osa Peninsula on a bit of side trip to hike around Drakes Bay for a few days before crosing the border into Panama. Having been to Drake's Bay 2 years ago, I was happy to bring friends there and share one of my favorite places in Costa Rica. Two years ago, this is where we did the Dolphin Drumming trip with Wild Dolphin Journey's (Marta MacBeth), so it was really a sweet treat for me to revisit the area and love it up again!

We did a mellow and magical day hike there with pristine beach after pristine beach and rocky craggy palm studded shores greeting us on every turn. We saw lots of white faced monkeys dangling about the treetops, mischeviously spying down on us as we gazed up at them: I couldn't help but think "monkey watching monkey!" From Drakes Bay we journeyed to Puerto Jimenez, crossed the Golfo Dulce to Golfito and bussed to the border, then straight on to David, Panama. From David, we headed to Boquete, which surprised me in how charming and quaint it was. The little central square was all lit up with Christmas lites, and there was this very gentle vibe there that was welcoming and endearing in a way I somehow hadn't expected. We found a hostel that rented camping gear, run by a Colorado smoosher, had a little rest and got up to hit the trail for the Volcano the next morning.

We were warned that it was an "intense" hike, even for Coloradan's, by a Colorado native, and indeed it was. I have done some pretty intense hikes, 14'ers, and the likes, and can say honestly that this hike was up there with one of the more challenging hikes I've done. Definitly not THE most challenging but it ranks probably in the top 10, ,mostly because of the length of the hike in one day being 15 km (and about 14 of it a fairly steep vertical incline), and the vert of the whole thing from start to finish being pretty steep.

The bus dropped us off 2 km before the entrance to the park and just that first 2 km was a pretty good indication that we were in for some serious uphill climbing. The road part was sweet though, and took us past native Panamanian homes with women and children in brightly colored traditional garb and men playing soccer in the fields. The hike itself was nothing so great, definitly pretty terrain, rolling hills, oaks and towards the top more thick forest, but not a lot of vistas and the only wildlife we saw were lots of little sweet song birds.

The last few kms to the campsite were more or less brutal and had me in a deep state of mind over matter, my mantra became: "I am not my body." The campsite was about another 1 km from the summit and when we got there, the mists were heavy and thick, it was cold and I was not feeling like I was going to peak the summit, my feet were blistering, and my knee was tweaking and I told my hiking partner to head without me. I didn't think he'd see much anyway with the heavy mists falling. Of course my curiosity and adventurous spirit kicked in when the sun peaked out of the mists again and I trekked behind him weary but strong willed!

We peaked the summit just about at sunset. The cloud formations and sinking mists were gloriously mesmerizing and so enchanting it was hard to really want to do anything but bask in the beauty of it and rest in the moment. We sat quietly in awe of the everchanging scene in front of us, weary and I was filled with deep gratitude and grace. Such a gorgeous shifting vista as the clouds lifted and dropped into the lush green valleys beneath us.

Apparently, many people hike up over nite, see the sunrise, then book it down. I just can't see the point in that to be honest, though I guess if people don't like to camp and want to see it, they've got to do it. After such a gruelling hike, to just turn right around and go down would feel to me like torture. Not that I wasn't tortured in my own way: I laid awake all nite freezing in a thin cotton sleeping bag at almost 12000 feet (it wasn't freezing but probably not much above it), tossing and turning on rock hard ground too overworked to fall asleep! But atleast not having to turn right around was some form of rest and comfort for my body. And sunrise the next day was well worth losing a night of sleep!

SUNRISE:

At dawn we could see both oceans, the Pacific and Atlantic, and a beautiful cover of clouds hovering above the earth. I offered prayers to the earth, cuddled in all the clothes I could find with cold wind blasting thru me, and strong warm arms of my friend reminding me of how much love there is in this world when we are ready to receive and give in return.

Such a delightful way to start a day with a birds eye view of the world and the love of all life pulsing thru me!

Glorious experience, if you ever get to Panama, I highly recommend doing the hike! Take your time and catch both a sunset and sunrise: it's really worth it and the views are so different depending on the cloud cover and time of day you catch it

Reminders on Being

Found this list in my journal from my Birthday this year! Thought they were worth sharing! Enjoy!



Accept what is with gratitude and faith

Embrace Life

Find and do what you love

Trust more Deeply

Resist self criticism and self judgement

Think less, Be More

Learn to let go ON COMMAND

Practice discernment in speech and thought

Become the master of your mind and emotions

Don't re-act: Sit, reflect, breathe and respond with discernment and grace

Live in the present: Let go of the past: It lives ONLY as long as you feed it

Liberate your mind by letting go of stories and perceptions

Trust in the flow to bring what needs to be

Don't interfere with what is: Allow truth to reveal itself: IT ALWAYS DOES

Forgive yourself as you forgive others

Accept that somethings can never be understood: especially other people's actions

Find your SELF & Never let her go again!

Never let anyone else confuse you on your own values and needs

Never compromise your values

Remember you deserve integrity and honesty

Choose carefully, consciously and with great discernment who and what you take into your body, life and community

Awaken to the joys of your wild side: drum, dance, sing, be in nature, play pointlessly

Live courageously: take more chancs: jump into the unknown with passion and zest for the mystery it holds

Live fearlessly as if today is the last day of your life!

Reflection on a Year of Change

For some reason, February is always my real new year. It's always the time when things start to really feel fresh and alive again within me. January is more of a stewing time, ideas and intuitions are churning but usually January is a time of such maintenance level work that the newness doesn't really get birthed until February. I am finding myself again in Costa Rica this year reflecting now on what has proven to be one of the most challenging years of my adult life.

It was February when I made the choice to exit my relationship of 7.5 years, and now, a year later, I am finally feeling inspiration return, and in new ways that I am happy to allow space for and cultivate. It has been a year of deep introspection and a lot of turmoil and chaos. Some of the most intense pain I've ever experienced inwardly has softened me, not hardened me, and for that I am so grateful. I feel like I can speak and be in a place of wisdom and truth when I share with others what heartbreak and mental turmoil are like because I really allowed myself to sit in and with it all. I accepted it all and bore witness to the reality of what was, and it wasn't so easy!

Now, a year later, I feel more ready to move forward resting in the knowingness that I did not run away or hide from any of it. I moved with authenticity and respected my heart even when I knew doing so would open me to being hurt more. I learned the power of vulnerability and the grace that comes from grief and loss. I challenged myself to keep opening my heart and showing up in the truth of what I felt, not to run away, not to shut down, not to cut and sever, but to integrate the experiences of grief, loss, heartbreak, betrayal, deception, disappointment and all the myriads of emotions that came with it all from insecurity to depression. Now, I am at peace with it all, with what and who hurt me, and with myself for giving myself permission to be real with myself every step of the way, even when it wasn't pretty or "cool." I won't say I'm proud of every moment of it, but it is clear now that I learned from it all and that the lessons I learned are invaluable ones we all must learn if we are to grow up and mature into our higher, wiser selves. It couldn't have been any other way for me to really get what I needed to get!


Last year, thru recurrent dreams I was having of wild cats and domesticated wild cats while I was in Costa Rica, I birthed a vision of working with women to help other women reclaim their own power and primal essence. The dreams were so powerfully clear that my soul was calling for a break from domesticity, and a way back to the true untamable free essence that is my nature. In one dream, I birthed a litter of cats that were sort of alien felines, and went to pick one up and it clawed at me and attacked me. I had to kill it, then run and lock the door to escape the others as they all turned wild on me, the one who had birthed them. In another dream, the land I was working on allowed poachers to come and kill a big beautiful tiger for money to survive, a representation of selling my soul and passion for "security and money." In another a panther was on a leash like a dog, beaten and subdued, looking pathetically dis-empowered. It was dream after dream like this, screaming at me to look deeply at what I was trading for the illusion of security and comfort. I knew my life had to change and it was these dreams more than anything that pushed me towards change.

Out of this, awareness came to me that I had much work to do to reconnect myself to myself and to the Wild Feminine Essence that the Feline energy was so clearly representing for me in the dreamtime. Being who I am, I love to share the journey and learn with and from others, and so the vision that began to germinate was to bring forth opportunities for other women to take the journey with me and see what we find and how we can support and nurture each other thru this experience. Being in nature was (is) so powerful for me every day to reflect and watch and listen to what the ultimate "wild woman," Mother Nature, had to share with me. Reconnecting deeply to nature, her cycles and vibrations was one of the most healing elements of my journey, and remains so.

That desire, to share and support other women on their journey back to self, brought me into journaling my process in a blog (that I have yet to release), as I know that someday, some woman may read my story and find solace and support in their challenges. If my journey home can help one other being to find themselves home within, I have done a great service and can leave the planet knowing I made some kind of difference.

As I sit here now, with the waves crashing on the shore down below me, and the cicadas chirping it up, I am reflecting on all the pieces that have fallen into place perfectly to bring me here now to this place of feeling re-inspired and reconnected in a new way to my purpose and passions. It was just a few days ago that I completed, with two other awesome facilitators (Sofiah Thom and Una Paradox), and 10 participants, a 5 day long retreat entitled, "Awaken the Wild Woman Within." The retreat was wildly successful overall and in it's afterbliss, I am having some much needed down time to reflect on my year and my own passage back to self.

Truly it has been an epic year and when I look at the goodness of what all the pain has brought forth in maturity, wisdom and depth, it's hard to be anything but grateful for the journey.

My life is moving forward, and the love of my life is becoming once again my self. Tonite I sit here with a glass of wine celebrating the arrival of this moment, to be able to feel strong, OK, safe, powerfully vulnerable, competent and capable of overcoming my own demons and fears.

I am in love with life, totally in bliss in this beautiful place overlooking the ocean and nestled into the jungle and my heart is bursting with the desire to share and serve in any ways I can!

Blessed nite! A celebration of the spirit!

Creating a Practice You'll Love

Please bookmark the new Blog site for more specific Recreational Music Making Sharings!

I just finished a week long retreat working with 12 other women in Costa Rica in which every day we danced, played music, practiced Hatha Yoga and shared our stories. One of the workshops I offered was called "Creating a Practice you'll Love." This is such a vital piece for an individual to continue growing and evoloving in whatever their art form is, and for the retreat we did, it felt to me so integral as a way to support the women in taking the practices we shared home and keeping momentum in their daily lives.

Practice is how we become. It can have many forms, and my definition of it is really more about connecting with source and self and allowing some time for that connection to deepen and mature over time. It is valuable and so vital to maintaining our passion and purpose in our lives.

Creating a practice you love requires a few simple external pieces:

1. Creating a space for your practice: free of distractions, kids, pets, phones, and computers. A place where you can really be alone and undisturbed.


2. Carving out the time for your practice: For some of us that's 15-30 minutes, if you have the time, I recommend an hour even if part of that time is just settling in, having a larger chunk of time allows for a deeper practice, but start with what you can commit to realistically.


3. A practice Journal to write and reflect on your practice and how it has affected you or what your frustrations were getting there and how you overcame them, but a special journal that is just around your practice.


4. Giving yourself Permission and requesting that from others in your life who may need to understand your need for not being bothered or disturbed in that time, perhaps your spouse or child.


5. Sacred Environment: Choosing music or silence, incense, candles, etc that help to facilitate the energetic space you are wanting to drop into

Internally, creating a practice you love requires a little bit more! If you already have a strong practice, ask yourself how much joy you are really getting out of it. I don't mean just satisfaction that you did your practice, I mean joy and inspiration! Do you leave your practice feeling excited and hungry for the next one? Are you practicing your passion or what you think you should be practicing?

If you fiind yourself stuck or stagnating in your practice, try these tips:

• Try a new space, perhaps go into nature and allow it to inspire you for a few days a week or more, or rearrange your practice space, pick a different room, etc. Buy a plant or change the decor a bit to bring life into the space.


• Switch it Up: Try something different, if you love to play drums but you haven't danced in a while, use your body to connect to the rhythm and see how that changes your relationship to your instrument. Try doing what's not as comfortable and familiar in your practice, step out of your box and make yourself grow, even it it feels akward, do it for that very reason!


• Expand and challenge yourself: Go take a class or a workshop or find a way to be in community with others who share your passion and to learn something new to bring into your practice that is challenging and makes you feel fresh and WOWed.


• Practice with others: Have a gathering and bring others together to practice, even if there are different forms going on, say you are a dancer, bring some other dancers and a few drummers together and practice together, others often inspire new ways within us


• Pray when you practice: use it as a way to move energy and manifest your heart's desires


Lastly, it's OK to take a break sometimes for a short period of time to allow for newness to come thru. Sometimes space is the only way to get to that next place. Becoming rigid or attached to our practice being a certain way is not a healthy way to allow for creativity to flow organically, and is often what gets us stuck so explore allowing your practice to be just being, and listen to what may be waiting to speak thru the space of letting go!

Enjoy!

Happy Valentine's Day: Practice Self Love

Arriving back in Costa Rica just two nights ago, I am already shifted into remembrance of how necessary and nurturing it is to have true quality time alone with nature and stillness. I am quickly remembering the value of deeply listening to the voice of the inner self by allowing and enjoying time away from the "world" and all of it's demands and expectations.

This Valentine's Day I am rising back into love with myself and I invite you to join me on the return to the deep heart space of self care and self reflection and appreciation. We spend so much of our lives caring for and catering to other people's needs, demands and requirements, especially for those of us who are women. We have a strong tendency to be sure others are cared for first and foremost and often leave our selves at the end of the line. By the time we get the time and space to consider our own needs, we are so exhausted by taking care of the others in our lives that we can't even remember what it was we actually needed! Give yourself to yourself this year and romance your self FIRST! A candle lite bath, a massage, a special treat, maybe even a quiet nite alone with a fire is in order rather than seeking outwarad or looking to someone else to romance you, find that divine romance within and cultivate that depth of love for yourself that you so often offer to others!

I am preparing to start the Awaken the Wild Woman Within Retreat here in Costa Rica with a group of 10 women who are heeding the call to reconnect deeply to their own passion, power, purpose and to listen to the strong clear voice that lives within us all that is our most authentic self. I know that this coming week with these women will bring much forth for all of us, presentors and participants alike. Our own heart connection with ourselves and the divine are the most valuable and long lasting romances we can have, and calling forth the passion and pleasure within ourselves does nothing but make us more attractive, sexy and pleasing to others to enjoy basking in our radiance!

Happy Valentine's Day and I pray it is your own treat to yourself to romance your own authentic love for YOUR SELF!

Bliss of Being

Bliss of Being
When I play
I am alive again
The joy is instant
the passion's power tremendous
Flowing thru me like waves of grace
I am in bliss

The Bliss of Being
when hand strikes skin
rhythm begins
And I remember my true purpose
is for this...

Heard or unheard
I arrive at myself
Present
Empowered
Passionate
alive
Pulsing perfection

A Sharing from my Friend

I received this beautiful email the other day from a sweet fire muse brother I've known for many years..

It touched me deeply.. and I asked him if he would be open to me sharing it here, and he was. I hope you enjoy it and feel the heart of devotion opening in yourself!

Greetings friend,



Today, I invite you to take a moment and celebrate with me. Celebrate a day that is not determined by the rhythms on the outside, but which emerged from the rhythms within. Today, I celebrate 500 hours of music practice in this single year. This count, kept meticulously on my iphone, does not includ gigs, NWR jam sessions, teaching, etc. It’s time spent one on one, me with my instruments. As the 500 hour mark approached, I began to feel some depth of importance, some real sense of growth centered on this milestone. I wondered what I might do to mark the occasion, and it occurred to me that this moment, more than most other holidays, is particularly special to me, and that I wanted to share it with you.



When I practiced today, I roamed appreciatively through various compositions, occasionally branching off into delightful flights of fancy, and often returning to those thickets of untamed wilderness that demand the hope and sweat of disciplined focus. All was going well, and as is often the case, I played my way through a wide range of emotions- living, as it were, a day in the life of my drums.



When the 500 hour mark arrived, I stopped and closed my eyes. My heart was instantly filled with gratitude and I was flooded with an awareness of the bright blessings of my days. I saw the long path behind me, ever weaving my way towards a pattern of living that would provide all that it takes to make this kind of adventure, this practice, possible. What a great and glorious boon it is, I thought, to be able to study like this, to have time like this, to have a vehicle like this, and to have friends with which to share in its fruits. I reflected then, on all my teachers. I heard their names and saw their faces pass before my mind’s eye. With each one, the gratitude within me grew. I could feel them inside of me, their passions wrapped around my own, their own tireless practice woven into the very roots of my musical soul. And what of their teachers? The river of gratitude stretches beyond memory. Gazing into this stream, I felt that I had drunk from these waters and have now been forever changed by them. They flow within me.



It was at this point that I felt a sharp pain beneath my shoulder blades. At first I thought it was the familiar ache of sitting, but it quickly occurred to me that this feeling was a part of the moment. I suddenly knew what to do. I pushed my tablas forward and knelt before them, my forehead pressed to ground, my hands touching the base of each drum. The pain was instantly gone. The feeling in my heart burst forth through my mouth in waves of, “namaskar, namaskar, Aum, namaskar,” and, “thank you, thank you, thank you.” As I lay there, I had a vision.



I saw Ganesh, the elephant-headed remover of obstacles and maestro of tabla, a radiant, but translucent presence seated before the gates of the universe. With the stars and the galaxies arrayed behind him, I heard this idea: some are born into this world as Mozart, Einstien, or Jimi Hendrix, and some are born as worms, or frogs, or other creatures that have no dreams or means to grow them. There is no way to measure the distance, for the beginning is not ever at hand, nor is the end as clear as it seems. That thing you call your birth was only a moment, but you who practice are born again with each new day. And as you and your art are united, all that is outside, and all that is inside, become one.

So it was, this brisk day in the depths of December- a holy day, I feel. May this light that shines in me, bring some warmth to your path and open the way for your own journey. Whether you travel outward or inward, may you become what you are looking for.